youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
