brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
