I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
