Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
