Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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