She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
