im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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