i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
