I think I am morally bankrupt
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
