how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
