and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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