well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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