i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
