Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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