He told me they were just razor bumps!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
