fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
