I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
