8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
