Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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