Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
