so explain again why im purple
no
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
