The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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