So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
