YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
