I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
