what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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