By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
