today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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