I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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