Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
