Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
