The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
