Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my sisters under your porch take her home
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
