It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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