Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize