I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
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