You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
