I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
