One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
