Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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