2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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