if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
