just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
