writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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