honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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