you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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