is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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