She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
