you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
