if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
