My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
